The past two months have been so stressful. The love of my life is giving up all that he loves in a place to live to take me someplace warm and where all of my cardiologists are recommending we go to. We were heading to Texas and together we prayed about it and decided it would be for the best for us to be closer to family. Sending resumes to Arizona and California, it seems that God wants us back in CA.
Right now we have no family when I'm in the hospital and sick. It is so hard on Joel and I want so badly for him to have support. Now, I don't want to take away from my dear sweet friend Tari that is always here to support and love us. I just think my hubby needs some family to support him.
It seems that God maybe bringing us full circle. We moved from Folsom and Joel was working in El Dorado Hills CA when we moved here and now he is flying to CA on Friday the 10th for another interview after turning down 3 jobs in San Luis County for a job that he thinks will suit him well in El Dorado Hills CA.
When I moved to Idaho I was so closed off in my heart. I would just as soon get into a fight physically or verbally rather than allow myself to really feel. I would joke around about serious things so I wouldn't "Feel". As I prepare to leave Idaho after over 10 years, I am a new person. I try hard to esteem others above myself, not always succeeding but living that way has been such a blessing to me. I have gotten so many close relationships. Relationships that are real and meaningful. I'm thankful for the time I've been given here. I'm thankful for the community that has embraced me just as I was when I first got here: mean, honer y, self-centered and afraid of emotions and showing them. I still struggle with this but I'm getting closer to where I should be.
I'm thankful for the true love and support that my husband has shown me. Gosh that man is in love with me and I sure do love him! I'm so lucky to have Joel. He is an amazingly kind, loving and protective man of God. His love for me and what he is willing to do for me, to keep me around here on earth for as long as God allows, well it sometimes takes my breath away.
The hours that he has spent in the ER with me watching as they poke and prod me and draw blood time after time, always standing beside me, hovering and praying for me. The hours that he has spent sitting in waiting rooms to have the Doctor come and tell him what the outcome is, The hours that he sits in the hospital room well before and after visiting hours, sneaking me in a low carb mocha fat free Big Train with sugar free Peppermint Paddy.... Words can't say how lucky I am to have him! Offering to throw Dr. Spyra out the window of the 3rd story because he doesn't like him and knows that I'm not that fond of him either. Breaking his butt to keep a home for us that we love and now we are losing. That breaks my heart.
I know I wasn't purposely born with a heart defect but I sure do feel responsible about taking him away from all he loves. This is the 3rd house we have bought and the first time we have lost one.
We can fight for this house but it will take a separation from each other. I will have to live in a warmer state for the cold months and he will have to stay here. This is not even a possibility to him. I have tried to talk him into it so he will be where he loves but he has told me that he loves wherever I am. Where I am is home to him.
Just feeling really blessed and lucky today. Now my man is going to bar b q Tri Tip just because he knows It's my favorite.
I hope that you are all as lucky as I've been with someone that loves you no matter what. Someone who will swim shark infested waters to get you a glass of iced tea. Someone who will give up everything he loves to be beside you for as long as you are on the earth.
Blessings,
Annie
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