It is truly the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I've taken two nitro under my tongue knowing the rules about the 3rd one and you are on your way to the hospital via ambulance. I know the routine.I'm also sure that I'm going to ignore it like most other times.
My oldest sister thought it may be helpful to me if I were to describe my heart condition and how it feels every day to live with it. So, I guess I will do that for her.
When I first found out about this heart abnormality I was shocked. I was in school to become a water aerobics instructor and lifeguard for the Kroc Center. My dream job, being around the water all day long and getting to motivate people to move their bodies. The day after the tryouts for the lifeguard class I was getting ready to jump in the shower and started feeling odd. No other word for it just.... something wasn't right. I felt like I was having a hard time breathing like something heavy was on my chest. I proceeded to go to take a shower and decided against it because I honestly felt faint. I walked back into my bedroom not sure what I should do and the phone rang. I think this was God's divine intervention because it was a lady that I hadn't heard from in over 20 years. She was my old best friend's mom. She asked me how I'm doing and I told her that normally I am doing well but today for some reason I feel sick to my stomach and like I'm having a hard time breathing. She told me to hang up the phone that very minute and call 911. She used to be an EMT and knew something was wrong. I said would do it and I did. I hung up the phone and called 911. While I was on with the 911 operator, I started to have severe stabbing pain in my shoulder blades. Like someone was poking me with an ice pick. She told me that the EMT's are on their way and would I please put my dogs outside and unlock my front door. She said that she will stay on the phone with me while we are waiting but I wanted to call Joel. He has been my best friend and my husband for over 27 years not to mention my comfort and support. I called Joel and told him that the ambulance was coming and he was of coarse frightened but said he would see me at home or at the hospital.
The EMT's came along with every fireman within 10 miles I'm sure and the big huge fire truck with the ladder. A couple of cops were there as well. They knocked on the open front door and I told them to come in. It was like a mob of people mostly men, coming into my house. They asked me specific questions about the pain and stuff and they hooked me up to an EKG. The took my blood pressure and said that the EKG didn't look that bad and my blood pressure was not that bad either 156 over 89. To me that was outrageous. I had recently lost 299 pounds and exercised about 4-6 hours per day. My blood pressure was never that high. They said they can take me to the hospital if I want or I can see if I can make an appointment with my primary care doctor. Something told me that I needed to go to the hospital. I suppose that the something that told me to go was the Lord. They hooked me up to monitors and oxygen and wheeled me outside. God Bless my elderly neighbors 2 sets of them were outside to see what the deal was. They asked me if I need anything and I asked to please tell Joel I love him and that they are taking me to Kootenai Medical Center in Coeur d 'Alene.
The ambulance driver was a guy but the two working on me were women. They carefully undressed me and put stickers all over my chest and hooked those up to monitors. They started and IV in my arm and I noticed that I was having more trouble breathing. The heaviness that was on my chest was getting heavier making it harder to breath. I was also extremely nauseous. They made me chew up about 6 baby aspirins and sprayed some nitro spray under my tongue. They gave me an IV and put some zolfram in it for nausea. I passed out a bit on the way to the hospital because the next thing I remember is they were wheeling me into a room and there was my sweetheart, Joel.
Once at the hospital they took lots of blood tests and the first set came back with a highly elevated troponin. That is something that is in your blood that lets the medical staff know that you are having a cardiac event. They said it looked like I had a mild heart attack and that I would be needing to have a procedure in the morning called a heart cath where they go in through your groin artery and up into your heart to take a look around. During this time I remember that my heart beat was really wild. Slow at first then fast, fast, fast then next beat it was down to like 40. It was alarming out and there were nurses coming and going from my room. Joel was by my side the whole time and I asked him if something happens to me can he give my baby sister my Bear named Bearfriend that I'd had since I was about 2 1/2 years old. He teared up and said to me, "is it okay if I keep Bearfriend." I didn't realize how hard this was on my man. Here he thought things were going well, I'd lost 299 pounds, exercised regularly, in school to make a career out of helping other people lose weight and bam.
The next memory I have is of my niece, the one that my oldest sister gave me. She flew to be with us. It was such a comfort to her Uncle Joel and to me as well. She stayed in the hospital room as long as they would let her. Late that night my Dr. came into my hospital room and told me a little more about the procedure he would be doing on me the next day. I asked him if I should be scared. He said, "no, this is routine and I have no doubt in my mind that someone who eats well and exercises like you will have something major wrong with their heart". I felt relief and he told me he'd see me in the morning.
The next morning I was barely awake as they took me to the basement of the hospital where they keep the heart cath lab. It was freezing in there and within minutes I was asleep again and woke up to some light talking. I recognized one of the voices as my cardiologist even though they had their masks on their faces. I heard him call the other cardiologist over to take a look at what he was seeing. I was trying to look at the little TV screen but didn't understand anything that was going on and I fell back asleep very quickly but not before I heard my cardiologist ask the other cardiologist if he sees the same thing. The other cardiologist said yes that it was totally ecluded and there was nothing that can be done.
I woke up in another room with my niece standing at the foot of the bed and Joel and the foot of the bed and my cardiologist on the right side of me standing beside a little monitor. He showed me films of what he had done and where he had looked around. All the while that he is showing me this he is telling me that I will not live a very long life. There is nothing that can be done to fix my issue and that I can no longer swim where there is no lifeguard, No more being a water aerobics instructor or a lifeguard, no more vacuuming, mopping, snow shoveling, raking, the list went on and on. I was trying to wrap my head around all of this and it felt like the rug was being ripped out from under me as I was standing on it. I was so sleepy from the Verced that they give you and they wanted to take me back up to my room but of coarse I had to pee really bad. It had been an hour since my Heart Cath so they thought it would be safe for me to go into the bathroom. I walked the short distance into the bathroom and peed then came back to bed with blood dripping down my thigh and leg. That meant the blood clot in the artery was not clotting. So.... a nurse with some major arm muscles pressed on that part of my leg for over 15 minutes. Then she would rest a bit and press again for another 10 minutes and so on until it stopped bleeding. They got me cleaned up and sent me upstairs to the Cardiac Pulmonary unit or CPU. They put me into a hospital room and I was on some pain killers and they were giving me shots in my belly of some horridly awful medication that hurt like a yellow jacket sting. It is to thin your blood. I was put on about 19 different medications all to do something for my failing heart. I was so dumbfounded by the cardiologist's words.... you won't live long and you'll never.... fill in the blank.
When Joel and My niece got up to the room and the cardiologist was in there Joel asked the cardiologist, "Dr. ___ if she continues to eat healthy and exercise she can live a long time like this right? The response from our cardiologist was, "no, no, I'm sorry to say there is nothing that can be done and she won't be around much longer". With that, he left the room. A little old lady in the curtain next to me said, "kids, can you open the curtain just a bit for a minute?" Sure, Joel opened the curtain and this little old lady told us.... "now you remember who is in charge! It isn't that Dr. that just left your room with the bad news! It is God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He is the only one who sets the days of our lives and the hours we have to live them!" We thanked her and prayed with her and she was a total blessing to us.
My best friend Tari came to see me and in my I'm a stud sort of way I told her not to worry that it was just a little old heart attack. Little did I know that my life was going to change forever!
Upon Discharge from the hospital the nurse's aid brought in some prescriptions with her that I would need to have filled immediately. One of them in particular she told us was very pricey. I asked her how pricey and she said about $175 per pill. I told her she can just put that prescription in the trash that I won't pay that much. That I can't pay that much. She left the room and came back with the correct amount. It wasn't $175 per pill. It was $175 per month. Better but not much considering the other 18 prescriptions that I had been put on at the same time. They would all add up and quickly. Upon my discharge, my new life had started like it or not. Things were going to be way different for me and my family from then on!
I will write more on this at another time but I am very cold and need to stop writing for now. Remember what my little old lady neighbor in the hospital said, God has your day's numbered not any physician!
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